(THIS IS AN AFTER PHOTO)
hey y’all! do YOU have curly hair that takes 26 hours to straighten and you still can’t get it to look like anything other than poorly straightened curly hair?
WHY NOT JUST STAY CURLY???
and i don’t mean stay curly like embrace your natural hair and quit damaging it with heat and weird products you buy at a gas station in the middle of south carolina because you forgot your hair stuff while visiting your brother (shoutout to SLICK ‘N GREASY LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER AND SHOTGUN LUBRICANT, voted #1 “intimate massage oil” among state senators trying to holla @ secret cops in the bathroom at wendy’s).
i mean try as hard as you can to get “television curly” hair. “television curly” hair is when actresses, news anchors, or glamorous murderers on televised court cases have their naturally straight-to-wavy hair straightened and then spiralled gently with a medium-to-large barrel curling iron, so that it falls glossily to their shoulders.
i, unfortunately, have hair that is too robustly curly to ever achieve that without taking out a personal loan. that doesn’t stop me from trying. here is my most recent attempt:
my goal for this semester is to title all of my papers using lyrics from kanye west songs
i’m in it to win it mothafuckers
no one has noticed yet
i feel like my references to kanye west may be lost on my 40+ year old professors
five weeks left in the semester and i’m still going strong