oh jesus not this again
I SAID WHERE IS MY MOTHERFUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER?
LOKI IS OUT THERE BLOWING UP CARS OR SOMETHING AND I AM STUCK IN HERE WITH MY THUMB UP MY ALL-AMERICAN ASS BECAUSE SOMEBODY FORGOT TO BRING THE SUITCASE WITH MY ROCKET LAUNCHER IN IT WHEN WE LEFT THE HELICARRIER
look mr. fury—
DIRECTOR FURY
director fury, we brought both your custom sniper rifles, the whole collection of SMGs with the detailing on the handles, and an m203 grenade launcher/assault rifle combo. the terawatt laser projector is right there in its refigerated housing. i can call the limo around and pop the vehicle-mounted vulcan cannon out of the trunk at a moment’s notice. it’s not as though—
I’M SORRY, DID THE WORDS “ROCKET!” “LAUNCHER!” APPEAR ANYWHERE IN THAT WHOLE BORING-ASS SPEECH OF YOURS? BECAUSE FUNNY THING, I DIDN’T HEAR THEM AT ALL, AND LAST I CHECKED I STILL HAD BOTH MY EARS
actually i did say ‘launcher,’ but in the context of—
CAN IT, COULSON! WHEN SOME CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER STARTED BLOWING UP STARK’S CARS, DO YOU THINK HE HAD TO STAND THERE WITH HIS ASS DANGLING IN THE BREEZE BECAUSE SOME PRIZE IDIOT LEFT HIS METAL PANTS AT THE DRY CLEANERS?
no, director fury
TRY FUCK NO, DIRECTOR FURY! HIS CHAUFFEUR DROVE A BENTLEY ONTO A GODDAMN RACE TRACK, RAN OVER A RUSSIAN SUPERVILLAIN, AND POLITELY HANDED HIM A SUITCASE FULL OF SOMETHING HOT OFF THE PRESSES AT THE STARK WHOOPASS FACTORY.
HIS. FUCKING. CHAUFFEUR!
(Source: devildoll)
