Philly Unveils World’s Largest T-Shirt Cannon; Haters Crying Themselves to Sleep; They Literally Cannot Believe It
ATTENTION, ATTENTION: THE GAME HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED NOW THAT PHILLY HAS JUST UNVEILED THE WORLD’S LARGEST T-SHIRT CANNON.
I’m thinking Philadelphia needs a Steinburger. What say you all? My basic business model will be to serve excellent burgers and make fun of the customers behind their backs.
reblogging so i can eat at steinburgers for free always
“The Zac Came Back The Very Next Day”
I put a fake booger in my nose and pretended to have this awful cough.
It was a moral deception.
She had been talking about her cat all night.
Girl, that is not the cat I was interested in.
I was like, sorry, see you again never!
Oh, and by the way, I’m seeing your best friend.
Why’d you have to bring Zac Efron into it?
“The Morning Before The Night After”
There are those tired-eye mornings
but this one was earned.
She tongued her palette, remembering
…penis, penis, penis…
and my poor processed parrot, RIP, you poor fucking bastard.
I’ll never drink Stoli again.
These were so fucking beautiful, omfg.